Collateral Damage in Happy Valley

Collateral Damage in Happy Valley

Without question, the boys who suffered the sexual abuse are far and away the most serious victims of the Penn State Scandal.  However, the trauma spreads much farther and much wider than just the immediate victims.

Think first of those that saw the abuse and did nothing.  Those images will stay with them forever. Every time they hear a story of child abuse or sexual exploitation, they will replay the memory and their tragic inaction.  I suspect they will have little peace, as it may follow them daily.  They may experience the same self-destructive behaviors as the victims, trying to ease the pain of their inaction.

The students will at some point recognize the moral failure of their blind support of the coach.  As they get jobs and have families of their own, this single event, may shape their parenting philosophy.  When a child is late coming home or begins participating in sports, scouts, etc, they will be haunted by today’s images and their inability to watch over their own child 24/7.

The students will also look back with the wisdom of years and see how they compromised their moral values for loyalty to a man who wins football games. They will finally understand that he was not mistreated in his firing.  He received a very soft rebuke compared to the trauma to the boys he ignored. They may finally learn that the significant and important events and decisions of one’s life come in moment such as these, when you are called to take a stand against good or evil.

I wish I could say that this is an unusual story and one that deserves visibility as particularly heinous.  That is not the case.  There is the boy whose father sold him to his friends to be sodomized, there is the young woman who had her toe cut off as a reminder to be silent, there is the young woman who suffered through dozens of predators as she placed herself in front of her sister to protect her.  There is the young woman who was given a trash bag and ten minutes to pack her things and was thrown out of the house, when she broke her silence. Society today does not look with compassion on the victim.

The real tragedy of Penn State is that it is quite typical and common.  Ask a person what they would do if someone sexually assaulted their child and you will get back the most graphic images of violence in the interest of protection.  Out of the hundreds of adult survivors of child sexual abuse that I have spoken with, maybe a handful experienced the support and protection of safe adults when they broke their silence.  In virtually all cases that puffed up ego that spoke so vigorously about violence to the predator, meekly backed away and let evil rule the moment.